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Jessykins's

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Mar 2, 2009 - 03:58 AM

What is wrong with me?

I have been thinking a lot about my friend Josie lately. It's been twelve years since she killed herself, and yet to this day I still have nightmares about finding her. I still break into tears when I think of her and how much pain she must have been in. Pain I wasn't there to help her with.

I grew up with this girl. We had a lot of good times together, and yet every time I think back on one of those good times, I can't enjoy them. They get tainted somehow with the reminder that she's fucking dead. I'm not sure why my mind does it. But just keeps happening. Getting worse, even. Weed isn't helping.

Why does it feel like I am the only person who can't get over things? Why do I keep acting so fucking traumatized?

(13 butts)

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