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Apr 4, 2012 - 03:07 PM |
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Wedding stuff. |
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Thank you everyone for the gifts, cards, well-wishing, and for voluntarily wasting time on a Sunday for a motherfucking wedding web cast. The generosity of you all never ceases to amaze me. This is the most remarkable community of people on the internet and thud and I love you all.
Vacationing in wedding clothes comes highly recommended. You will be escorted to the front lines, people will be forced to give up their seat so you and your partner can sit together, and then, when you arrive to where ever you are going, you are given free champaign. You will probably start to feel guilty by the forth day or so of people buying you drinks all the time because it's so much easier responding that, yeah in fact you were "just" married, rather than explaining how you are only getting maximum use out of the nicest clothes you've ever worn.
Wedding Number 2 was so much fun and stress-free. Way better than a family wedding, what without all the planning and family. The DVD of the whole thing turned out wonderful and sweet and not too much ruined by Zeph. We just let people assume it is a total stranger (which is almost the truth).
We rode a helicopter into the Grand Canyon and drank Champaign at the bottom. It was incredible. The pilot was real pushy about taking a picture with The Helicopter. We told him, "nooooo"; opting instead to get it with a GIANT OPEN SCAR ON THE FACE OF THE EARTH.
We drove a James Bond car through a ghost town on the way out to Death Valley. Everything exploded and there were rocks shaped like butts. An old wanderer roaming the desert married us one more time just to be sure it sticks
Penn and Teller definitively proved to me magic doesn't exist, yet I am convinced magic is the only way they could possibly do that shit.
Saw about 50 dead dicks at the Bodies Exhibit. I got educated.
Saw a young couple smoking crack around a corner, then they emerged with fists thrusting into the air and giving long, loud hoots as they ran onto a tour bus that wasn't my tour bus. Dang. =(
We got pretty drunk at the Circus Circus midway. Sat in the spinning ice cream parlor and felt terrible. I cheated a child out of a teddy bear when my Clown Head Water Balloon Game malfunctioned and gave me the win even though I didn't win. It was important for me to prove my worth to my new wife with that teddy bear, though, so I kept it. Later I gave a stuffed mouse to a sad looking girl, so I totally made up for it.
The only time we tried walking around off Fremont St. we stumbled into this terrifying scene in front of a motel practically dissolving into a slime. We ran back to the safety of a Twilight Themes Available wedding chapel, stopping only for more pictures.
Wedding life itself is mostly made up of sleeping and getting nagged a lot about the taking care of a yard we don’t even have this is a 2nd floor apartment jesus and then drinking until I fall asleep again.
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