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May 30, 2010 - 02:09 AM |
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Lady on the Railroad Tracks. |
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Naturally this is the first thing to do in Red Dead Redemption. It all comes down to a matter of timing, though, and I was running out. It looked as if the train would soon be crossing the river into [Mexico], delaying my quest for who-knows-how-long. I plotted a course on my map, and crossed my fingers.
Riding my Golden Stallion of Misogyny, I raced as fast as flabby lightning through the desert, finally reaching the tracks just as the smoke trail of the train engine began clearing the hill to my left. This was it. I dismounted at full gallop in a frantic hurry to be really awesome, sending my horse and the woman cargo charging ahead. An explosion of meat and blood showered down upon me as Only Best Friend the Horse came to a halting stop under the iron wheels of a speeding locomotive. The impact sent the lady shooting off his back, flying through the air like a baked potato, landing safely in the grass a few feet away.
I smashed the D-pad in a vain attempt to make my cowboy shake his fist at the train. He stuck his fingers in his mouth and whistled for his horse.
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