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Jan 3, 2010 - 02:36 AM |
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Hey Guys |
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Status Update:
Laptop took a nosedive on Christmas Day! Merry fuck you!
Got a small loan to purchase a new one. Should arrive in time for my birthday in a couple weeks.
With no computer to distract me, I have gotten things done!
I have reduced and compartmentalized my life! All the unnecessary crap I've accumulated over the past fifteen years or so is gone. My life us now a pile of boxes in the next room. I will not be moving for a bit yet but I am prepared, and halfway mentally checked out of here already.
I have been buying adult things. For example, several sets of bath towels. Area rugs. Tupperware. This feels simultaneously alien and proper.
I have recently become a somewhat different person. I fear passivity and inaction more and consequence less. I am telling off people who deserve it and not backing away from threats of violence. I have stopped caring about people who do not care about me. I no longer take the long way around minor obstacles; I plow through them just to see what happens. I am enjoying this immensely.
I'm looking forward to 2010. They say it is of the tiger, an impetuous creature that holds no prisoners. I find this approach fascinating suddenly and am eager to leave this all behind in favor of becoming the person I should've been all along had fear, illness and lack of encouragement not held me captive for 33 years. I no longer want this place. I no longer want the people who stopped wanting me years ago.
For once, I'm in control. And in those times when I am not, I am in control of having no control at all and it's working.
So help me, there will be an adventure. The unknown is now my bosom companion.
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