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Oct 22, 2008 - 05:58 PM |
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I Got The Call From Pittsburgh Today |
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...Around 2:30 PM.
I didn't go. Here's the story.
The transplant coordinator called me while I was at work. A set of donor lungs was going to become available very soon and they looked very good. The question was one of how well I've been feeling - good, bad, getting worse, staying even, etc? I told her that, all things considered, I feel pretty good for a guy who needs new lungs.
Here was the catch: the donor had a bit of a questionable medical history, cancer in particular. It had been in remission for a while and the lungs had never been noticably affected. Still, there would always be that risk, no matter how minor; if I accepted those lungs, I'd always have that sword hanging over me. The scenario, as urged by the chief surgeon, was that if I didn't feel well, I should take the lungs and accept the very slight risk of incidental cancer. But if I was getting by, it'd probably be safer to pass and wait for a better donor. Ultimately, it was up to me, and naturally, I turned those lungs down. Someone in a more dire situation could have them. Lung cancer is an irony I'd rather avoid, thank you.
So we continue to wait. The good news is that it's begun, I'm getting offers. I knew it wouldn't be long. As long as my health holds out, I can pick and choose. For the past month, I've sort of wondered what I'd do when the call from Pittsburgh came. Reality has a way of springing itself like a lioness on the hunt. Would I panic, would I hyperventilate and pass out? But none of that happened. I took it a lot more calmly than I figured I'd be able, which is good. I think it means I'm truly ready to go through with the whole ordeal. I figure that once they have me in their clutches and I cannot escape - when the imminence of transplant can be measured in mere minutes - that's when I'll be free to shit a brick and recant every horrible thing I've done.
Just the same, I knew it'd be a tad foolish to invest in a Halloween costume this year. Next year, I'll go whole hog.
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